So What is Retro?

Well, the term retro just means having to do with the past. The beginning of this sentence could be retro by the time you reach this point in your reading. And it's not surprising that different people have a different view of what's retro and what isn't. So, I've decided on an arbitrary definition for the purposes of this site. You are encouraged to develop your own definition, in order to introduce as much confusion as possible into the known universe. Here are the definitions of retro, vintage, and antique as I see them:

Retro. If it's twenty-five years old or older, it's retro. That doesn't mean you're retro if you were born in 1989, but the events, souvenirs, and ephemera thereof are. You can find more precise definitions of retro at Dictionary.com

Vintage. Fifty years old or older. This differs from retro in that if you were born in 1964, you are vintage. I mean, let's face it: you're half a century old. So stop pretending to be young, eat your prunes, and start practicing yelling at kids who trespass on your lawn. The neighbor's dogs will suffice for this purpose. Yelling at your own dog will result in canine confusion and possible medication increases (for you). Neither of which are necessarily bad things, as long as you're forewarned.

Antique. The Federal government, bless their rhetoric-bleating little hearts, have already decided this one for us. If it's a hundred years old or older, it's antique. And if you're a hundred years old or older, you can stop eating the prunes now. Have a beer instead. What's it going to do, stunt your growth?
Me. I'm fifty-four. And I hate prunes. Thanks for asking.